Vanessa Tan
19 on 19 Oct.

Currently studying Law in TP.

Loves sports and I'm a musically declined person.

I can be nice if I want to. =)

PLUS I decided to have another blog because I need a place to rant about shitty happenings
AND of course because i'm bored. Hoho.

I'm fine!! Emo period is gone. Just planning something really good now. Haha.

I'm so disappointed in life I don't even know how to begin. I feel like my world was thrashed a thousand times. I'm so disappointed with the fact that it happens to me all the time.

Why me? Only me. Why of all ppl only me? Is it tt hard to let me taste happiness?
Or letting me taste a bit of happiness is supposed to be a trap so that I would receive a blow of misery the moment I get tempted by it?

I have absolute zero confidence in guys. ZERO. None. I can't trust anyone but myself because my trust gets betrayed everytime. Everytime I'm satisfied with life, it'll be screwed somehow or so. My heart is so bruised I can't breathe properly cause my chest hurts like fuck.

This time, it's like what Sher said. It's the final straw that broke the camel's back. I'm so lost, confused, hurt and angry. Mostly lost. I just wanna hide away from this cruel world for a bit before evolving as someone stronger than before. But right now I wanna just disappear. Disappear so I feel nothing.

There was alrdy a knife stabbed by the previous 2. Now, he came around and pushed the knife so deep in I feel like fuck.
Why give me a whole lot of hope and promises when you can't carry it out? Why make me give you my heart only for you to stomp on it till it's all smashed and gooey and then return it back to me?

Why choose to leave me hanging, causing me to be neither here nor there. Why say you do when you don't? Why is there no closure or explaination? Are you even a man with balls?

Because of what you've done, I learnt to be a stronger person. I learn never to trust ppl. I learn to be tough and suspicious of ppl. I learn that guys can never be trusted. Thank you for teaching me all that. And I'm still waiting for an explaination I rightfully deserve but never get.

I don't hate you. But I really liked you and you took that for granted and everything we had for a fucking game. Im going to move on. You'll see.





It’s funny how you think you really know yourself
Like you would never lose yourself to someone else
And I was up to thinking it was all about you and me
Silly silly me

I should have never listened to a word you said
But I was always giving in to promises
I never should have gone for,
I should never long for you no matter how hard it gets
And I want this to be over
I so want this to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you

Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can’t get you out of my head
So it annoys me(You wasn’t man enough)
To come and tell me(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn’t love me anymore

If you had only told me how you really felt
I could have put my feelings into someone else
But I was busy thinking I was where I was supposed to be
Silly silly me
But there was something ‘bout you that I couldn’t resist
Can’t put my finger on it but whatever it is
I never should have stood for it
I know you’re no good for me
And that’s the way it is
And I want it to be over
I so want it to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you

Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can’t get you out of my head
So it annoys me(You wasn’t man enough)
To come and tell me(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn’t love me anymore

After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end I wanna thank you'
Cause you made me that much stronger

Well I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust
Called your bluff, time is up
'Cause I've had enough

You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm
After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you, cause it...

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before
I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim nowB
ut don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies cause you're wanted to haunt me
But that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you'

Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

How could this man I thought I
out to be unjust, so cruel
Could only see the good in you
Pretended not to see the truth
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself
Through living in denial
But in the end you'll see
You won't stop me

I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough

Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Thought I would forget
But I, I remember
I'll remember, I'll remember
'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Lol. Um. Ytd was great. Had a really enjoyable day just doing nothing in particular. Lol.

Wanted to eat at fish & co. at wheelock but it bloody closed down alrdy. So we walked all the way to heeren cos we settled for thai express. Wth. fish & co. had a new outlet at heeren, near thai express. Damn irritating. So we just ate at thai express.

Went to walk up and down orchard rd and saw familiar faces. Anyway we just crap crap about nothing in particular. He liked mooncake so we went taka to get mooncakes.

Wanted to catch a movie so we went back to cine to buy tickets. But we thought the timings were too late. So walked to lido. The timings were even later. SO we walked back to cine again. Lol. Had to wait about an hour before the movie starts. Chilled out at gloria jeans for abit.

The movie was nice. BUT a lil bit awkward. Andy anyhow tell me its romance la. Got sexual contents la please.

Talked abit on the way back.

We're going to go running later together later. Lol. =)

Im not sure whats happening. But Im really happy. Happy its happening and that I'm moving on. But Im just praying so hard I don't get hurt again.

So I didnt update much for a very long time. Basically, this post will be about my boring and sad life.

I hate my job to the max. People are rude and impolite. They are also demanding and unreasonable. They are unappreciative and unhelpful. I just needed help with the work and the ppl there get so damn impatient. Please la. Im a newcomer man. What. Am I supposed to read up the textbook and understand how the project functions? A freaking temp job and I have to actually read up when I'm at home. How pathetic is that!?
I even got threatened by my boss man. Thanks. Thanks for making me appreciate the temp job I had over at Stand Chart. I miss the less hostile ppl there.

Enough about that fucking job. Met up with the db girls to celebrate Hwee Lee's birthday on tuesday. She's 19 alrdy and I'm not even 18. Depressing. My birthday takes ages to arrive. Nice talking to them. I miss them soooo much. I'm just glad to have them as friends.



About ytd. I dont know what really happened.
I should just forget it. But its so disappointing.
Get to really see the true colours of some ppl.
I'll just treat it as a bad dream.
I just feel very upset. But I cant pinpoint on what Im unhappy about.
I'm so utterly disgusted.
What's happening to me? I need to start learning to act smart.
Something's very wrong.